I cannot believe I am telling on myself. We all have those moments from time to time when say something we wished we had not or we ask a question when we know the answer. We also have those times which are both. You know those moments.
You see someone who is wearing a bright blue cast covering their fingers and all the way up to their elbow and before you can catch yourself you are saying something you wish you had not because you know the answer to the question. "Did you break your arm?" Dah. Of course they did. They were not wearing the cast to make some type of fashion statement. "Here's Your Sign"
Well, I had my own "Here's Your Sign" moment recently. I had only had my new (used) car a few days. I was too lazy (and still am) to read the car manual like I should. I figured I would just learn on my own. I kept seeing some numbers above the odometer numbers. The numbers would change; sometimes they were more or less than other times. I did not pay a lot of attention to when they changed but did note that it said "X" number of miles to E.
Since I had not read the book I made up my own interpretation of what this meant. I had it in my mind that the previous owner had (for some unknown reason) programmed the car to indicate how many miles it was to a particular East destination. I needed to find out how to clear this out.
Fortunately, before I had a chance to ask anyone and embarass myself I figured it out. OMG and dahhhh! The porch light came on and someone was home. The numbers were how many miles remaining to Empty. Here's Your Sign.
I cannot believe how dumb I felt but at least I can laugh at myself before anyone else had a chance to laugh at me. Now you all can laugh at or with me - whichever makes you happy.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Do not believe the porch light was even on
Sunday we had dinner at our son's house. They had all been up late the night before so they wanted to go to bed early. We took the cue and said our I LOVE YOU's. I started up my new (used) car only to have all of the interior lights come on.
Okay. The lights are on; it is okay because it is night time and dark. But the lights did not go out. What to do? I wanted to get home because I, too, was tired. I asked Ed to read the car manual to see what the problem might be (other than the obvious - the lights would not shut off) and how to fix it. He pressed button after button in hopes it would solve the problem. No luck.
I drove all the way home (only about 12 miles or so) with all of the interior lights on. Once in our driveway, I sat out in the car searching for a solution. I decided to look at the manual myself and try to figure it out. I could not find the information I was looking for until I REALLLLY looked hard and basically read between the lines. I turned down a knob/switch and OMG the lights went out. Once I found it I was like "dah".
So, I do not believe "the porch light was even on" let alone "anyone being home".
Okay. The lights are on; it is okay because it is night time and dark. But the lights did not go out. What to do? I wanted to get home because I, too, was tired. I asked Ed to read the car manual to see what the problem might be (other than the obvious - the lights would not shut off) and how to fix it. He pressed button after button in hopes it would solve the problem. No luck.
I drove all the way home (only about 12 miles or so) with all of the interior lights on. Once in our driveway, I sat out in the car searching for a solution. I decided to look at the manual myself and try to figure it out. I could not find the information I was looking for until I REALLLLY looked hard and basically read between the lines. I turned down a knob/switch and OMG the lights went out. Once I found it I was like "dah".
So, I do not believe "the porch light was even on" let alone "anyone being home".
No Words
No words came out of my mouth the other day. After I awoke (which better than before I awoke - ha ha....), I tried to call out to our dog. I opened my mouth but absolutely no words came out. I tried again. I could not speak. I finally had to make some banging noise to get our dog's attention so that I could take her outside.
I fed the dog then wondered what was I going to do. I was suppose to meet a friend for breakfast but I had no voice. I could not call her because I had no voice. I could not text her because she does not text. There was no one else to make the call for me so........I knew I had to go.
I drank a hot cup of coffee and took a hot shower which enabled me to be able to squeak out some words. I met my friend for breakfast and I managed to have a conversation (thank goodness).
Anyway, this was one day when for awhile I HAD NO WORDS.
I fed the dog then wondered what was I going to do. I was suppose to meet a friend for breakfast but I had no voice. I could not call her because I had no voice. I could not text her because she does not text. There was no one else to make the call for me so........I knew I had to go.
I drank a hot cup of coffee and took a hot shower which enabled me to be able to squeak out some words. I met my friend for breakfast and I managed to have a conversation (thank goodness).
Anyway, this was one day when for awhile I HAD NO WORDS.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Humor in the Hospital
These are true stories. Exact dates, times and names may be changed to protect the guilty - lol.
1992 - A family member was in the ER and had an IV inserted in his arm. We waited and waited for a doctor to return to let us know what was going on. This family member has a weird sense of humor and decided to reinact a scene from the movie "AIRPLANE". He dangling his arm around and thrashed in the bed causing the IV to sway. If you do not know the movie you won't find the humor but trust me, it was funny.
1994 - Went to the ER with heart palpitations. After the doctor talked to me and put me on O2 he had to leave for a few minutes. In an Arnold Schwartzen.....(not sure how to spell his name) voice the doctor said "I'll be back." At the time it was not funny to hear a "TERMINATOR" voice as I was very afraid I had had or was having a heart attack. But looking back, it was funny.
Late 1990's - The same (weird sense of humor) family member had cataract surgery. He had been given some powerful medication. While he was in recovery we was jabbering. When the nurse came in, he asked her (in a very serious voice) "Can I have a quart of this stuff to go?" The nurse had no sense of humor whatsoever and in a much more serious and firm voice said "Oh NO! This is a very powerful medication. You CANNOT have any of it." Come on nursey. He was high on the medication and you are taking him seriously - think again.
2001 - Family member had a stroke and was in the hospital for a long time. She was frequently being moved from one room to another. The moves were so frequent that we "threatened" (use the term loosely) to leave a trail of breadcrumbs so others could find their way to us.
2004 - Again, the same (weird......) family member broke his hand at work. He was out of work for a month or so and needed to visit the doctor frequently. On one particular doctor visit he was asked "Why are you hear?" He said "I have a broken hand." He was then asked "Which hand?" Are you kidding me? He walked in with a bright blue cast on his hand and his hand held up. The person asked the questions "why....?" and "which....." "Here's your sign!"
During this same visit, a resident asked how he was doing. He responded that he was doing okay considering he had been bowling and using a jackhammer at work. The resident had no sense of humor and began lecturing him. Again, are you kidding me? There was no way that he could have lifted a bowling ball much less put his fingers in the holes (you could not even see his fingers) and of course there was no way he could have use a jackhammer (not to mention that he would never use one in his job). "Here's your sign."
Stay tuned for more Humor in the Hospital. I am sure there will be more hospital visits or stays therefore we will try to find the humor in the hospital.
1992 - A family member was in the ER and had an IV inserted in his arm. We waited and waited for a doctor to return to let us know what was going on. This family member has a weird sense of humor and decided to reinact a scene from the movie "AIRPLANE". He dangling his arm around and thrashed in the bed causing the IV to sway. If you do not know the movie you won't find the humor but trust me, it was funny.
1994 - Went to the ER with heart palpitations. After the doctor talked to me and put me on O2 he had to leave for a few minutes. In an Arnold Schwartzen.....(not sure how to spell his name) voice the doctor said "I'll be back." At the time it was not funny to hear a "TERMINATOR" voice as I was very afraid I had had or was having a heart attack. But looking back, it was funny.
Late 1990's - The same (weird sense of humor) family member had cataract surgery. He had been given some powerful medication. While he was in recovery we was jabbering. When the nurse came in, he asked her (in a very serious voice) "Can I have a quart of this stuff to go?" The nurse had no sense of humor whatsoever and in a much more serious and firm voice said "Oh NO! This is a very powerful medication. You CANNOT have any of it." Come on nursey. He was high on the medication and you are taking him seriously - think again.
2001 - Family member had a stroke and was in the hospital for a long time. She was frequently being moved from one room to another. The moves were so frequent that we "threatened" (use the term loosely) to leave a trail of breadcrumbs so others could find their way to us.
2004 - Again, the same (weird......) family member broke his hand at work. He was out of work for a month or so and needed to visit the doctor frequently. On one particular doctor visit he was asked "Why are you hear?" He said "I have a broken hand." He was then asked "Which hand?" Are you kidding me? He walked in with a bright blue cast on his hand and his hand held up. The person asked the questions "why....?" and "which....." "Here's your sign!"
During this same visit, a resident asked how he was doing. He responded that he was doing okay considering he had been bowling and using a jackhammer at work. The resident had no sense of humor and began lecturing him. Again, are you kidding me? There was no way that he could have lifted a bowling ball much less put his fingers in the holes (you could not even see his fingers) and of course there was no way he could have use a jackhammer (not to mention that he would never use one in his job). "Here's your sign."
Stay tuned for more Humor in the Hospital. I am sure there will be more hospital visits or stays therefore we will try to find the humor in the hospital.
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